what am I really frustrated about?

FrustrationWhen I get frustrated, I rearrange furniture.

Ask my friend Michelle – it’s guaranteed that she will call every time I’m in the middle of it. She always laughs and says:

there goes Babs, rearranging her frustration again

I don’t know why I do it but I’ve been doing it since I was a teenager. (yes, I drove my mother crazy rearranging my bedroom all of the time)

With that in mind; my BF and I moved into this new house a year and half ago and I have arranged and rearranged things a million different ways. I am now pretty happy with everything except for one spot.

The sitting area at the end of my dining room drives me crazy. I don’t know what’s wrong with it, it’s just not right. I have contemplated all different approaches (without actually buying new furniture) but I still don’t have an answer.

It bothers me every time I walk by and I can’t stop thinking about it. Seriously, it keeps me up all night sometimes. It’s crazy!

So I had a friend over the other day and I asked him what he would do with the area. I know he has a bit of a knack for decorating and I like how he has done his house so I value his opinion.

He looked at the space and then back at me. Then he poked me in the chest with his finger and said:

If it’s not right here, you’ll never get it right over there. What are you really frustrated with?

Whoah! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Could he be on to something?

How many times do we misplace our anger or frustration? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do it ALL of the time.

  • I’ve yelled at my kids when I’m really angry at a co-worker.
  • I slam doors and toss cutlery when I’m really frustrated that there is more month than money.
  • I power clean when a project at work is not going my way (this may also be a control issue).
  • I eat junk food after an argument with my BF.

And; it dawned on me after my friend left; I rearrange furniture when something in my life is unsettled.

I stood there and looked the sitting area. Is it really the furniture that I’m frustrated with or is something else in my life unsettled?

I’ve had one hell of a year and a half of change, that’s for sure. Quitting smoking, building a house, moving in with my boyfriend, my daughter starting high school, my son going away to university, losing my client of 12 years and making the move to working at home.

These are all life changing events and they all happened in a year and half.

That’s a lot of stress and frustration. Maybe I’m not done dealing with things and I’m taking it out on the furniture. Maybe I’m not as settled as I think I am.

I’ve read enough new age self-help books to know that we humans can bury our emotions so deep that it affects our physical and mental health. So I need to get to the bottom of my frustration before it becomes destructive.

Or worse . . . more destructive.

But how? Well, I’ve turned to meditation for help.

Before you ask, the answer is “no”. I don’t know how to meditate.

The good news is that I don’t have to. I will Google it!

I did a search on “guided meditation” and there are lots out there. I can even Google “guided meditation for frustration” if I want something more specific.

What’s a “guided meditation”? It’s just audio of music along with directions on how to meditate (sometimes for a specific purpose) given by a meditation teacher in a soothing voice. Just sit or lie down in a dimly lit room and listen as the mediation teacher tells you what to do.

Definitely use headphones to block out distracting noise around you.

I’ve done a few guided meditations and they’re really great. I highly recommend them even if it’s just for relaxation and focus.

It takes some work to calm your mind because life today has it going a million miles an hour. And it’s uncomfortable at times because I’m not used to being “still”. I find I fidget more than I should and I have to keep pulling my mind back. I think this is why they refer to the “practice of meditation” – because it takes a lot of practice. I think it will be worth it though, I’m already feeling calmer.

No breakthroughs yet but I’m working on it and I’ll keep you posted.

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