I have never cooked a Turkey

turkey dinnerOkay. I said it. My name is Babs, I am 50 years old and I have never cooked a turkey.

In my defense, I am the one that moved away. My entire family still lives back in my home town so I always drive home for family and holiday dinners. I never offered to host because it made more sense for one family (us) to drive an hour than many families drive our way. Especially at Christmas time when weather is unpredictable.

So, because of the distance and the drive, I was always relegated to bringing the corn or the dinner rolls. No one asks the one who is an hour away to bring the turkey. If weather was ever an issue, at least it was only the corn or rolls that would be missing, not the main dish.

I do remember that my ex-husband and I hosted a dinner once with a turkey. I don’t remember the year, but . . . can you guess? Yup! He made the turkey! In fact, my ex-husband did the majority of the good cooking. But if it came out of a bag, box or can – I was all over it.

Truth be told. I can’t really cook at all. I have a couple of signature dishes that I make really well but I still have to read the recipe even though I’ve made them a million times.

I am fortunate that my boyfriend is not a picky eater. He is a meat and potatoes kind of guy so as long as there is some kind of meat and some kind of potato, he’s happy. I do throw a vegetable in there but it’s not a requirement.

Let’s just say that he is not with me for my cooking skills.

So I wasn’t at all surprised, when I suggested to my boyfriend that we host Thanksgiving this year, that he responded with an equally sincere suggestion:


Maybe we could get it catered


Don’t go! There is so much more to read! Click to go home and don’t forget to subscribe now for FREE to receive notification when there is new stuff to read!

Image courtesy of tiverylucky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

  1. Now days you can get it caterer. Or Swiss Chalet is an option.
    no frills has them on sale today. i got a good size turkey on sale for 11.00. If you screw up its no big deal.

  2. My luck with turkeys has not been great! The first time I cooked one I bought bread crumbs thinking that that’s all stuffing consisted of. It was a surprise for all when the turkey was carved and this sawdust-like stuffing fell out.

    Then there was the year I forgot to remove the plastic bag with the neck and giblets. It was a surprise for all when the turkey was carved and the plastic bag was unveiled.

    Oh, and the year we had Thanksgiving at the cottage with our good friends. We didn’t do a very good job of coordinating our meal plan. We ended up with two complete turkey dinners and cooked turkey until 2:00 in the morning. Uuuggh!

    Another year, at the cottage, the guys went out doing some duck hunting and my friend and I cooked the turkey dinner. We got into the wine and by the time dinner was served all I ate was turkey skin (my favourite part).

    One year I decided to give up on cooking a whole turkey and purchased one of those easy-carve turkeys. It looked great until we took it out of the pan. The thing just broke in half and stuffing fell out into the turkey grease at the bottom of the pan. Yuck!

    Several years ago my step-kids and grandchildren were coming to our house for our Christmas celebration. I was unable to do any cooking because of a back injury so we ordered an entire pre-cooked turkey dinner from a local market… A 25-pound stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, veggies and dessert. A real feast and not cheap! Our celebration turned out to be the day of the big ice storm so nobody could come. Like most people, nobody on our block had power. Turned out the local market had a generator so they still had power. We had already paid for the meal and couldn’t cancel as everything was already made. They offered to cut up the turkey and store it for us but everything else was a write-off.

    As I stood inside with the fire burning, the candles lit and the table already set with our good china and Christmas crackers, watching my husband, daughter and neighbours struggling to chip away the ice a light went off in my head. I called the market and reinstated our order. We invited all of our neighbours for a full, hot turkey dinner.

    We’ve had a number of deaths in our family over the last few years. A big traditional turkey dinner with all the fixings has lost its meaning. I am still having major back problems and it’s our turn to host Christmas dinner again.

    This year we are having Swiss Chalet for Thanksgiving and steak for Christmas. Let someone else struggle with their turkey. We are officially done! It’s time for new traditions.

    Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you enjoy your turkey.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *